3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit […]
A man asks his mute friend what he wants in a woman. The mute friend points to his head. His friend says, “Yes, intelligence is important.” Then, the mute friend rubs his thumb on the palm of his hand. His friend nods and says, “Certainly a woman with money would […]
A Woman Is Standing Looking In The Bedroom Mirror… She Is Not Happy With What She Sees And Says To Her Husband, “I Feel Horrible; I Look Old, Fat And Ugly… I Really Need You To Pay Me A Compliment.” The Husband Replies, “Your Eyesight’s Damn Near Perfect.”
A pair of newlyweds are having marriage problems. They decide to meet with the Rabbi to prevent the termination of their very short relationship. The Rabbi asks the husband, “What has brought you to the point where you are not able to keep this marriage together?” The husband says, “In […]
The police stop an old guy in questionable condition at 1 am. –“What are you doing out so late, sir?” asks the police officer. –“I’m going to a seminar on ‘The harmful effects of alcohol’,” replies the man. –“Are you pulling my leg or something?!“ says the police officer, „who […]
My doctor sent me for a prostate exam to the nearest hospital. I went, reluctantly, got called in the office and patiently suffered through the – frankly very personal – examination. When the examining surgeon left, a nurse came in and asked a question that sent shivers down my soul: […]
A man comes home and yells joyfully: “Honey I won the Lotto! Pack your things for a nice big vacation!” –She asks: “Awesome! Should I pack for warm or cold weather?” –Man beams: “I don’t care. Just be on your way already!”
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad’s farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”The teacher said,That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ […]
A newly married couple are in bed, when the man asks his wife how many men she has slept with After the question, the woman doesn’t respond. The man asks again “Just tell me, it’s fine. How many men have you slept with?”His wife, still in total silence, just stares […]
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he […]
