A long time ago a boy was born with a hair-lip and the doctor said he was odd. His parents were struggling to come up with a name and remembered what the doctor said, so they wrote down Odd. The clerk shared his name with the nurses and they all […]
A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse
A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse.The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says:All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ALLLLEEE OOOP!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. “Providing you […]
An 80 year old women was caught shoplifting a can of peaches
An 80 year old women was caught shoplifting a can of peaches.During her court appearance the judge asked the lady “So tell me why did you steal the peaches?” to which the old lady replied, “Your honor I was very hungry because my husband and I have no money to […]
A grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting […]
An old man walks into a barbershop
An old man walks into a barbershop for a haircut.When the barber is getting everything ready, the old man says to the barber: “You know, no matter how hard you try, you never get all the hair off because my cheeks are all wrinkled.” The barber produces a little wooden […]
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper
A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general, began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he […]
A dying grandma tells her grandchild
A dying grandma tells her grandchild, “I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash.” The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, “Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn’t even […]
There were two little crabs who met
There were two little crabs who met in Florida every year.One year when they arrived, one little crab was shivering terribly. The other crab asked why and he said,“I got a ride here on a man’s moustache. He drove so fast, I was freezing.” “Well,” the other crab said,“why don’t […]
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said,“Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start […]
A Husband and wife were having a serious quarrel
A Husband and wife were having a serious quarrel when husband said to her, pack your things and at that point, her phone rang, so he had to stop to allow her answer the caller.It was her dad. The phone was on speaker so he could hear what her dad […]