“What’s the matter with your wife? She looks all broken up.” “She got a terrible shock.” “How was it?” “She was assisting at a rummage sale at the church and she took off her new $2 hat and somebody sold it for 30 cents.”
At a dinner party
A high school girl, seated next to a famous astronomer at a dinner party, struck up a conversation with him by asking, “What do you do in life?” He replied, “I study astronomy.” “Dear me,” said the girl. “I finished astronomy last year.”
The police catch the naked man
How did the police catch the naked man breaking into Zales? They grabbed him by the jewels.
The owner asks the clerk
The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.” The owner replies, “You idiot! […]
A man and a woman were having drinks
A man and a woman were having drinks at a business conference when they got into an argument about who enjoyed s** more. The man said, “Men obviously enjoy s** more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?” “That doesn’t prove anything,” the woman countered. […]