A man walks into a bar, ends up getting into a horrible bar fight and is lying on the floor injured. “Don’t worry,” says the bartender, a Red Cross nurse is in the building and is coming to help you.’ “Oh no,” groans the victim, “couldn’t I have a blonde, […]
Three thieves are caught Three thieves are caught stealing fruits from the king’s garden. The king asks the first thief: “What have you stolen?” “I have stolen 10 grapes, your majesty” “Your punishment is to have grapes shoved up your ass” And so, the guards bent over the thief and […]
Two pilots are sitting in the cockpit while a stewardess enters. She asks if they want coffee or tea, but both pilots ignore her. She then asks “what’s the difference between a cockpit and a con?” The captain looks over his shoulder, not saying anything. She continues: “A cockpit contains […]
Two chemist walk into a bar and, sniggering, the first orders a glass of “H2O”, and the second chemist, just as pretentious but even less original, says he wants a glass of “H2O too”. The bartender, sick of their shit, points out that, as with every other time they’ve been […]
A cowboy stops his horse next to a saloon. He dismounts, enters the saloon and tell the barman: Twenty bottles of whiskey! My horse is thirsty. The barman gives him the order, the cowboy pays, the horse drinks it all. Hey! – tells him the barman. – Ain’t you going […]
A man walks into a Doctors office and says “I want to be castrated! ” The doctor refuses Man screams I want to be Castrated! “and throws 4 grand in cash on the table Dr performs the procedure. 3 weeks later the man overhears two guy talking ” Ever heart […]
A man wanted a complex tattoo.This man wanted a tattoo in the shale of a Phoenix with every single part of it a different shade of red, now obviously most would think this is impossible just like the people in his town. So then he traveled to Italy met some […]
A womans husband dies, and she spends many years as a widow, missing him terribly. In time, she too passes away, and is excited to see her husband in heaven. She runs up to him, ready to give him a big hug, saying, “I’ve missed you so much!” The husband […]
A long time ago there was a fishing village…In this fishing village, they worshipped the sea. They did everything on the ocean–they lived in huts on the beach or over the water, they were always fishing, cultivating, and harvesting from the ocean. They also had this custom where they would […]
A newlywed couple spent their first honeymoon night in an expensive Miami Beach hotel Next morning the groom called room service and ordered a breakfast of bacon and eggs for himself, and a lettuce leaf for his wife. The clerk asked, “Would the lady care for anything else?” The husband […]
