I had a crush on a girl – Funny Story

Friend: Dude, I can’t stop dreaming about my crush.

Me: Well imagine this… You’re home alone, and your crush comes over to visit.

Friend: Ok I can see it…

Me: She walks into your room and you’re just sitting there.

Friend: Uh-huh.. I’m likin’ this.

Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her p*** off. She’s not wearing any und****.. And then she sits on you.

Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta’ naughty girl.

Me: Yeah, ok. Don’t get dirty on me. So she’s sitting on you. And then… she starting shitting in you. Right then and there, you find out you’re a toilet. Friend: I hate you…