My grandma died on my tenth birthday. It kind
of freaked me out, I mean, I still have birthday
parties, I’m just more careful what I wish for now.
What’s the difference between 365 blow jobs
and a blimp? One is a good year, the other is a blimp.
A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says “Papa,
I need fifty dollars.” The father says “forty dollars?!
I don’t have thirty dollars! What do you need twenty
dollars for? Here’s ten dollars.” He hands the boy
a five and says “split it with your brothers.”