A mailman is making his route. On his last day before
retirement, he gets to one of the last houses when
the lady of the house answers the door in a slinky
negligee and says, “Today is your last day, isn’t it?
Come with me; I have a surprise for you.”
She takes him by the hand and leads him into
the house where he finds a complete breakfast feast
laid out for him—eggs, pancakes, bacon, the works.
The mailman stuffs himself, pushes back from the table
and says, “Thank you ma’am, this was wonderful,
but I really should finish my route.”
She stops him and informs him there’s more,
then leads him into the bedroom where she proceeds
to give him the best sex he’s ever had—every position
he can think of until he’s about ready to pass out.
Finally, they finish and he says, “Thank you ma’am,
this was amazing, but I really should finish my route.”
She stops him and says, “I have one more thing
for you,” and then reaches over to the nightstand,
pulls out a crisp $5 bill, and hands it to him. Confused,
the mailman says, “Ma’am, the breakfast was amazing,
the sex was mind-blowing, but what is up with the five dollars?”
The lady responds, “Well, my husband and
I were watching TV last night when I said,
‘Hey, tomorrow is the mailman’s last day,
think we should do something?’ And he said, ‘
Fuck ’em. Give him 5 bucks.’ But breakfast was my idea!”