A man on vacation in the Caribbean decides to go horseback riding. He visits a local farm that rents horses to ride around the countryside. The owner of the horse, a very religious man, explains to the visitor that in order to make the horse go, he’ll have to say […]
A kangaroo keeps escaping his enclosure at the zoo. In an effort to keep him inside at night, the zookeepers construct a 10-foot fence around his habitat. The next morning, they find the kangaroo wandering around the zoo. The zookeepers construct a 20-foot fence to keep the kangaroo from escaping, […]
A lady was expecting the plumber. He was scheduled to come at 10 A.M. Ten o’clock came and went with no plumber. She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands. While she was out, the plumber arrived. He knocked on the door; the lady’s parrot, who […]
A man was complaining about the local police to his neighbor. “I’m sick of the cops in this town telling me how to drive when they are some of the worst drivers in the state.” “How do you know that?” the neighbor asks. Every week, I constantly pass signs on […]
A man is driving to work when he notices the flash of a traffic camera. He figures that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knows that he wasn’t speeding. Just to be sure, he circles the block and passes the exact same spot, driving […]
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me […]
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. […]
A couple having been dating for several weeks. but the guy is feeling a little insecure. Guy: So it’s been a couple of months, how do you think it’s working between us? Girl: Yeah, all great! Guy: No, really. How are you feeling about me? What do you like, what […]
A turkey was standing in a field chatting to a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of yonder tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. They’re packed with […]
Three elderly women were sitting together on a park bench when an elderly man started to walk by. “Excuse me, but we can guess your age,” one of them said to him. He stopped, intrigued. “How can you guess my age?” he asked them. “Well,” one lady explained, “you’ll have […]
