Two sailors make port at a small South Sea island. They leave the boat and rush to the nearest bar, a real rundown stereotypical south sea island bar straight out of Donovan’s Island, palm
tree roof, rattan ceiling fans, beautiful native women in floral dresses, french colonial policeman by the door, dodgy one armed bandits, the lot.
The place is rammed but there’s nowhere else to go for a drink so they head in… ‘look, I have to shit in the baddest way. You make for the bar and get the first round in. Looks like the toilets
are upstairs so I’ll be back down in a bit and meet you at the bar!’.
The sailor heads upstairs and finds himself in what seems to be an open room with no lighting. Being an old south sea island hand he starts to shuffle around the room feeling around the
floor carefully with one foot to find the squat toilet. He eventually finds a hole in the floor, drops his pants, squats over it and lets loose. No paper of course so he cleans up with a sock
and that goes down the hole too.
All ready now for a serious drinking session he heads down to fight through the throng. When he gets downstairs the bar is empty apart from the barman and his shipmate who is stood at
the bar with his hands over two beers… Confused he asks ‘where the hell did everyone go?’.
“Huh” replies his shipmate “where the hell were you when the shit hit the fan!?”