A couple years ago I met the love of my life.
She’s beautiful, intelligent, and compliments
all of my weaknesses with her strengths. Recently,
she became pregnant and I could not be more
filled with joy. We found out we were having a boy,
which was the perfect icing on the cake.
Now there will be someone to carry on my name
and it’s all thanks to her.
Now bear in mind, I love her with all
my heart. But as she has reached her time
of delivery today she’s become a little
difficult to talk to. She’s constantly uncomfortable,
I see her wince more frequently from her pre-loabor
pains, and she is getting pretty nasty with me.
All she has said to me is:
“You’re such a bastard”
“It’s your fault I’m in all this pain and it’s your
spawn that’s trying to rip me in half”
“You’re scum and you must’ve done this so it’d kill me”
“If you’d just kept it in your pants we’d not
be here you asshole”
“If you weren’t such a such a shithead, you’d have
taken a moment and would’ve thought
of the consequences.”
I’m completely at a loss and all I can say to her is:
“Honey I can tell it’s time for us to get to the
hospital. You’ve clearly had an increase in your contractions.”