A couple is kissing on a bench in front of a block of flats. A man stops nearby and starts to watch them. After a while, he comes closer and starts to clear his throat timidly. “Go to hell,” the woman’s companion shoos the intruder away. “I would have gone […]
Two lawyers entered the bar. They ordered drinks, then pulled sandwiches out of their briefcases and began eating. The owner appeared immediately. “I’m sorry, gentlemen, but you can’t eat your sandwiches here.” The lawyers shrugged and swapped sandwiches.
A man and his wife were playing golf. The man tees off and his ball veers way off to the right, breaking the window of a house. The wife says you must go and apologize and pay for the window. Both the man and his wife walk up to the […]
I was sitting listening to my wife singing to my baby over the baby monitor it was just me, her and the baby in the house. Then a car pulls in the drive way. It was my wife. Scary.
Mother-in-law to son-in-law:I see that you tell fairy tales to my grandson every evening. That’s very good. I just don’t understand why each of them ends the same way: “And they lived happily ever after, because that woman was an orphan”?
During check-in at airport for a non-stop long-haul flight, the airline staff was very apologetic to the husband and said: “I am sorry sir, the flight is really full today. We couldn’t allot you and your wife adjascent seats. Your seat number is 14A and madam’s is 42H.” Husband: “Oh, […]
A husband and wife decided to go on a diet together to shed a few pounds before their vacation. They agreed to encourage each other and stick to their diet plan.A week later, the husband noticed that his wife was sneaking into the kitchen late at night. He caught her […]
A plane full of crazy people is in the air. One guy goes in to the cockpit and asks the pilot to teach him how to fly. The pilot says if you can get everyone back there quite I will teach you. A few minutes later the guy comes back […]
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. “Wow!,” said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?” “Wrong number,” replied the girl.
A mother invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied. “Just say what you hear mommy say,” the woman answered. The daughter bowed her head and […]
