A man had been drinking at a bar all night

A man had been drinking at a bar all night and pukes down the front of his shirt. “Shit I can’t

go home like this my wife will kill me” The bartender sees this and says “put a $20 bill in you

pocket and when she sees the puke tell her some drunk puked on you and gave you $20 for

dry cleaning”. So the guy goes home and his wife sees the puke on his shirt and asks what

happened, to which he replies “a drunk guy puked on me and he gave me $20 to pay for dry

cleaning”. To which his wife says “Ok well then why do you have $40 in your hand?” “Because

he also shit in my pants.”