I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it’s unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he’s a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she’s a slut. So in response, I told her […]
A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife. He says, “Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water.”She replied, “but honey I do not have a headache!” He replied, “Thank God!”
Mother’s Day. Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother’s Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen. But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both […]
A Marine was going in for his physical. He had celebrated his 45th birthday that weekend. After taking all the tests, the blood other fluids. He was now waiting for the DR. in an office on the table in a paper outfit. The DR came in. After looking over all […]
A guy buys his first motorcycle. The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man’s girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents’ house. Before they go in, she explains […]
During my check-up I asked the Doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy life then?” He replied, “I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now.”I said, “I don’t go in for any of that astrology nonsense.”He replied, “Neither do I. My thermometer just broke.”
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A year later, there’s another knock at the door. He opens it […]
My boss was honest with me today. He pulled up to work with his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it. He replied, “Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year.”
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams “excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP”. I know replied the man “I want two hands and a face put […]
After marriage the Groom started opening the Bride’s luggage. She asked,” What are you doing ? These are my personal things. ” Groom said, ” From now onwards nothing is personal. I can search or use every thing you have. ” “Okay”, said the Bride, ” But be careful while […]