A couple celebrates their golden anniversary. The wife asks: Tell me, honestly, have you never thought about divorce in all these years? Not about divorce, but a few times about murder.
A thrice divorced woman is giving love another try Her first love abused her with his fists. The second one ran away. The third one completely failed in bed. But she still feels lonely and doesn’t want to stop believing in love, so she posted an ad on a newspaper […]
One night, Pinnochio’s girlfriend says to him, “This stinks. Every time we make love I get splinters.” So Pinnochio goes to Gepetto to ask his advice. Gepetto says, “Sandpaper, my boy, that’s all you need.” A few days later Gepetto runs into Pinnochio and says, “So how are you doing […]
A man and a woman meet in heaven and fall in love. They walk up to God and ask to be married. God says give me some time and I’ll get back to you. Three or four years pass and God finally tells the man and woman that he can […]
A redneck is on his honeymoon about to make love, when his wife says… “Wait, honey, there’s somethin’ I need you to know. I’m a virgirn” “WHAT THE FUCK?” The man shouts, and he punches her in the face, knocks her out. He wraps her in the bedsheets, drags her […]
A woman asked a General in the army the last time he made love to a woman… The general stood tall and said “1956 ma’am.” The woman, taken back by this answer said “1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better…” and the two sauntered away to a private […]
I just made love to my girlfriend. She asked, “If I get pregnant, what should we name the baby?” I took off my condom, tied a knot, and flushed it down the toilet. “Well” I said, “If he can get out of that, we’ll call him Houdini”.
Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town… After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel. The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager: ‘Go upto the […]
A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, “Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?” “Are you nuts?!” – she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner […]
At the end of a night out on the town, a girl takes a black guy back to her house. They’re kissing and moving towards her bedroom when she looks at him with the most flirtatious eyes she can muster and says: “Is it true what they say about black […]