On Saturday night I rode my bike to the off-licence, bought a bottle and put it in the basket. But I thought that if I fell off the bike, the bottle would break. So I drank it on the spot. And that was a good decision, because I fell eight […]
A couple is kissing on a bench
A couple is kissing on a bench in front of a block of flats. A man stops nearby and starts to watch them. After a while, he comes closer and starts to clear his throat timidly. “Go to hell,” the woman’s companion shoos the intruder away. “I would have gone […]
A man and his wife were playing golf
A man and his wife were playing golf. The man tees off and his ball veers way off to the right, breaking the window of a house. The wife says you must go and apologize and pay for the window. Both the man and his wife walk up to the […]
Jasio sat down to do his homework
After returning from school, Jasio sat down to do his homework. After a while, he asked his father: I have to write an assignment on a disaster. Could you help me and suggest a tragedy? There is not a drop of vodka in the house…
Married life after 60
During check-in at airport for a non-stop long-haul flight, the airline staff was very apologetic to the husband and said: “I am sorry sir, the flight is really full today. We couldn’t allot you and your wife adjascent seats. Your seat number is 14A and madam’s is 42H.” Husband: “Oh, […]
Girl had been talking on the phone
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up. “Wow!,” said her father, “That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?” “Wrong number,” replied the girl.
The owner asks the clerk
The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.” The owner replies, “You idiot! […]
A man and a woman were having drinks
A man and a woman were having drinks at a business conference when they got into an argument about who enjoyed s** more. The man said, “Men obviously enjoy s** more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?” “That doesn’t prove anything,” the woman countered. […]
Grandma and Grandpa
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their grandkids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his grandson’s medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The grandson said, “I don’t think you should take one. They’re very strong and very expensive.” “How much?” asked Grandpa. “$10.00 a […]
A Christian friend
“A Christian friend of mine said that sex between two men is wrong in their eyes. I said, ‘You’re right, it’s supposed to be up the bum!’”