A married woman walks up to Santa Claus and tells him that
all she wants for Christmas is for her husband
to be interested in s*x.
Santa then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills.
He tells her to give them a try and then
let him know how it’s working.
So she takes the pills home and puts one
pill in her husband’s Christmas dinner.
That night, they make love for one hour.
The next day, she’s running around thrilled and happy.
“Oh, my God. I can’t believe how well
that worked,” she thinks to herself.
That night she puts two pills in his food and
that night they make love for two hours.
The next day, she’s even more thrilled,
so she dumps all the pills in his food.
Two weeks go by without any word from this
woman, so Santa decides to give her a call.
A little boy answers the phone.
Santa says, “Little boy, is your mother home?”
“No, she’s…who’s this?” the little boy asks.
“I’m a friend of your mother’s and I gave her
some pills to help her out a couple of weeks ago.
Maybe you know how it’s going?”
“That was you?!” the little boy says.
“Let me tell you. Mom’s dead, sister’s pregnant,
my ass hurts and Dad’s in the attic going,
‘Here kitty, kitty, kitty. “