John falls asleep next to his wife

John falls asleep next to his wife, in bed. After some time, he sees st. Peter. John: “am I dreaming?” St. Peter: “no John, you’ve passed away in your sleep… unfortunately, we’re

not ready for you yet. We’ll need to send you back, but unfortunately, we can only send you back as a chicken.”

John thinks about this for a moment, and agrees. There’s a blinding flash of light, and when John opens his eyes, he finds that he’s in a chicken coop.

The chicken next to him says “hey, you haven’t laid any eggs today. The farmer will slaughter you if you don’t lay any” John: “I don’t know how” Chicken: “it’s easy. You just

go ‘bock bock booock’ and squeeze real hard.”

John: ok, I’ll give it a try. Bock bock BOOOOCK” John squeezes hard, and out pops a massive egg.
Chicken: “whoa! That’s a massive egg!” John: “I think I can lay a bigger one. Watch this: bock bock BOOOOOOOOCK” and John squeezes harder than before, and out pops an

even bigger egg!
Chicken: “goodness, that’s the biggest egg I’ve ever seen!” John: “hold on, this one will blow your mind… BOCK BOCK BOOOOOOO-”

and at that moment, John’s wife elbows him in the ribs and shouts “stop shitting in the bed”