A wealthy man walked into a bar in Miami. As soon as he entered, he noticed an old woman, sitting in one corner.He walked over to the counter, removed his wallet and shouted, “Bartender! I’m buying drinks for everyone in this bar, except that woman over there!”The bartender collected the […]
The old farmer joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.“Didn’t you say, at […]
It’s a small town and not much happens most days, so the town newspaper prints pretty much every little story. But the editor just can’t believe it one day when the new farmer down the road says that his truck ran into a ditch and killed 2,003 pigs. He sends […]
A little girl says Grandpa can I sit on your lap?” “Why sure you can,” her grandfather replied. As she is sitting on grand dad’s lap she says, “Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?” “A sound like a frog? Well, sure Grandpa can make a sound like […]
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?””My mother died in June,” he said, “and left me $10,000.””Gee, that’s tough,” he replied.”Then in July,” the friend continued, “My father died, leaving me $50,000.””Wow. Two […]
A man follows a woman out of a movie theater. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says: “I’m sorry to bother you, but I couldn’t help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously […]
A guy who ran over a rooster on a country road late one night. He felt bad, so he went up to the nearby house, knocks on the door and says to the old farmer:“Sir, I just ran over your Rooster , and i’d like to replace it.” And of […]
A man is about to enter a meeting at work when he realizes that he forgot some important paperwork. He calls home so that his wife can retrieve them. The maid answers the phone and says that his wife is busy. He demands that the maid put his wife on […]
There are three women. One is dating, one is engaged, and one is married. They decide to get kinky with their men and really pull out all the stops to make it extra special. The woman who is dating says, “Okay, so I bought black leather, red lipstick, fishnet stockings, […]
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife on the bed, sweating and panting. ‘What’s up?’ he says. ‘I’m having a heart attack,’ cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as […]
