Ben asks his new girlfriend for a hand job. “Ive never done that” she says, “what do I do ?” “Well” replies Ben, “remember when you were a kid and you’d shake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it … that’s what you do.” She nods, so he […]
A woman walks into her accountant
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m […]
Boyfriend are going up to my room
A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriends house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room” and the mom says, “Ok honey, you kids have fun.” When they are up their the mom hears: “Baby baby baby oh!” The […]
I love spoiled that woman
A couple took their young son for his first visit to the circus. When his father left to buy popcorn, the boy asked, “Mom, what’s that long thing on the elephant?” “That’s the elephant’s trunk, dear,” she replied. “No, Mom, down underneath.” His mother blushed and said, “Oh, that’s nothing.” […]
So quiet in your room last night – Funny Jokes
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home. Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to […]
A young man and his date
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have s** when the girl stopped.“I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for s**.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they […]
One woman strands on a desert island – Funny Jokes
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: “I can not proceed in this way.” And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: “We can not proceed in this way.” And they bury the woman. The next […]
Boy asked out the girl he liked – Funny Jokes
For a high school dance, the head boy asked out the girl he liked. To get flowers for her, he had to stand in a line outside the florist for an hour. To make things worse, he had to wait another hour in a line outside the tuxedo shop. Finally, […]
Girl go to her boyfriend home – Funny Story
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend’s home. Her mom advised her: “My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn.” Next day her mom asked her daughter: “Had you a good day?” The […]
A man goes to a fancy dress party – Funny Jokes
What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner?He smashed his his nose. Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken… A girl went into a […]