A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find...
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find...
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find...
A lawyer is standing in line at the bank, but the line is taking forever. Suddenly, the person behind him starts rubbing his shoulders. “Dude what the hell! Don’t touch me!” The lawyer swats his hands off. “Sorry,” the man behind him says. “Sometimes in lines I get bored. I’m […]
A judge calls opposing council into his chambers . . . . . . and says “Gentlemen, I’ve called you here to discuss a very serious matter. Both of you have given me bribes to influence my decision”. The lawyers begin to squirm in their seats. “Mr. Morgenstern, you have […]
A nurse walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Are you coming to our big Halloween party?” the bartender asks. “Yes, I’ve already planned my costume. I’m going to come as a horrible monster made entirely out of blood,” the nurse says. “I’m going to be a hemogoblin.”
A man walks into a bar, ends up getting into a horrible bar fight and is lying on the floor injured. “Don’t worry,” says the bartender, a Red Cross nurse is in the building and is coming to help you.’ “Oh no,” groans the victim, “couldn’t I have a blonde, […]
Three thieves are caught Three thieves are caught stealing fruits from the king’s garden. The king asks the first thief: “What have you stolen?” “I have stolen 10 grapes, your majesty” “Your punishment is to have grapes shoved up your ass” And so, the guards bent over the thief and […]
Two pilots are sitting in the cockpit while a stewardess enters. She asks if they want coffee or tea, but both pilots ignore her. She then asks “what’s the difference between a cockpit and a con?” The captain looks over his shoulder, not saying anything. She continues: “A cockpit contains […]
Two chemist walk into a bar and, sniggering, the first orders a glass of “H2O”, and the second chemist, just as pretentious but even less original, says he wants a glass of “H2O too”. The bartender, sick of their shit, points out that, as with every other time they’ve been […]
A cowboy stops his horse next to a saloon. He dismounts, enters the saloon and tell the barman: Twenty bottles of whiskey! My horse is thirsty. The barman gives him the order, the cowboy pays, the horse drinks it all. Hey! – tells him the barman. – Ain’t you going […]
A man walks into a Doctors office and says “I want to be castrated! ” The doctor refuses Man screams I want to be Castrated! “and throws 4 grand in cash on the table Dr performs the procedure. 3 weeks later the man overhears two guy talking ” Ever heart […]
A man wanted a complex tattoo.This man wanted a tattoo in the shale of a Phoenix with every single part of it a different shade of red, now obviously most would think this is impossible just like the people in his town. So then he traveled to Italy met some […]
