After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. “Son, when I first got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my pants. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she […]
A guy was stranded on a desert island with Heidi Klum. Initially, he played it cool, not making any moves on her for several weeks.Finally, he asked her if they could start a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other’s needs.Heidi was game and a very nice sexual […]
A woman walks into her s** thearapist’s office and tells her that her husband is not a very good lover, and the rarely have s** anymore, and asks what to do about it?The therapist tells her that she has a new drug called Viagra that might do the trick.She tells […]
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.”Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works.“We have 5 floors. Go up floor […]
A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied, “Some things you just can’t explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with […]
A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: “Go away! There’s nothing you can say to me to […]
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in s**. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it’s still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a […]
A boy says to a girl, “So, s** at my place?” “Yeah!” “Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we’re making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?” Later on the girl is […]
A Boyfriend texts his Girlfriend saying “Hey babe you wanna come over and have s?” Girlfriend texts back “Duh!” So the girl goes over her Boyfriends house, and right before they get into it, he sets the boundaries. “Ok, so my little brother is home, and I have bunk beds. […]
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife.Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact, “Mary. Mary.”“Is that you, […]