A pirate walks into a bar with a wooden leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch covering an empty socket. After a couple drinks he’s chatting it up with fellow patrons when one finally asks
what has been on everyone’s mind. “You’ve got a lot of scars, you must have some crazy stories. How did you lose your leg?” The pirate looks down at his peg leg and says “I saw the
cannon fire, and before I could move it took me leg clean off.”
“And how about your hand?” the curious man pressed on.
The pirate raised his hook and looks at it angrily as he replies “was the tastiest crocodile I ever cooked.”
Finally, the man asks about his eye. The pirate quickly and tersely replies “a seabird shat in me eye!”
The man thinks about that for a second and says “surely you could just rinse that out with some seawater?”
“Yarr, it was the first day with me hook.”