A Woman Shoots Her Husband For Stepping On The Clean Floor… A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station. “I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.” “Have you arrested her?” asks the […]
A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They’re immediately taken back to a room. Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor comes in, prescribes some […]
On the first day of our marriage retreat, the instructor talked about the importance of knowing what matters to each other. “For example,” he began, pointing to my husband, David, “do you know your wife’s favorite flower?” David answered, “Pillsbury All Purpose.”
Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye. The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: “Dear, breakfast is made. I’ve gone shopping to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!” He stumbles […]
My cell phone quit as I tried to let my wife know that I was caught in freeway gridlock and would be late for our anniversary dinner. I wrote a message on my laptop asking other motorists to call her, printed it on a portable inkjet and taped it to […]
My wife and I were comparing notes the other day. “I have a higher IQ, did better on my SATs and make more money than you,” she pointed out. “Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I’m still ahead,” I said. She looked mystified. “How […]
A man is walking through his local mall and notices a Mexican book store. He decides to go in because he has never seen a Mexican book store before. He browses through the store and finally asks the clerk, “Do you have the book on Donald Trump’s foreign policies with […]
I was once passing through a town in England when this lady stopped me because she needed help fixing her car that had broken down. As I was fixing the car, the lady would cross the road and shout “Hello” at me. This happened a few times as the lady […]
In my neighborhood, there was a couple who had given their twin sons very weird names. One was named Trouble, while the other boy’s name was Mind Your Own Business. So, one day they were playing hide and seek. Mind Your Business counted to a hundred and then started looking […]
My friend once called a few house painters to his house for some work. He wanted them to paint his porch. After a few hours, the house painters came back for the payment as their work was complete. Before leaving they told my friend that they had enjoyed painting his […]
