Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world. “I didn’t sleep with my wife before I was married,” said one clergyman self-righteously, “Did you?” “I don’t know,” said the other. “What was her maiden name?”
A Cambridge graduate and an Oxford graduate
After they’ve been talking for a while, the Cambridge graduate says to the Oxford graduate, “You know, I can tell you’re an Oxford graduate by your charm, your intellect, your sophistication, and your worldly wisdom.” The Oxford graduate smiles and responds, “Thank you. You know, I can similarly tell that […]
Johnny decided to go skiing
Johnny decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So, they loaded up Johnny’s minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could […]
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmer’s […]
Italian couple is walking around in the mall
An old Italian couple is walking around in the mall.After a while, they get separated so the woman goes up to the first saleswoman she sees and asks:“Excuse me, have you seen-a my-a Tony? He’s got a big-a belly and a-lotsa of curly black hair?”The saleswoman answers that she hasn’t […]
Man see a very rare and beautiful squirrel
Two friends are walking in a natural park. At some point, they see a very rare and beautiful squirrel. “Should we take it with us?” Says one of the two. “Yes, but hide it in your underpants in case we meet a ranger.” So the guy puts the squirrel in […]
A distraught senior citizen phoned
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?” “Yes, I’m afraid so,”‘ the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence. The senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, […]
A daughter takes her old father in a wheelchair
A daughter takes her old father in a wheelchair to a retirement home for the first time. The nurse, expecting their arrival, greets them with, “Welcome to the Johnson family retirement home! We think you’ll feel quite at home here! Please follow me and I’ll show you around.” The nurse […]
An accountant is in a car travelling
An accountant is in a car travelling with a farmer client around his farm. They pass a large mob of sheep and the farmer says, “You re pretty good with numbers, Keith. How many sheep do you reckon are in that paddock?” The accountant looks at the sheep for a […]
Little Johnny and Susie were
Little Johnny and Susie were about to go into his apartment and before he could open his door, Little Johnny said, “Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door.” Susie says, “Well, give me some examples.” Little Johnny proceeds to tell […]