An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman ordered pints of ale at the local pub. As fate would have it, each of their drinks had a fly swimming in it. The Englishman called the tavernkeeper over and said, “There’s a fly in my ale! Throw this out and me another.” […]
A drunk walks in the front door of a bar and yells “Bartender, gimme a drink!” The bartender says “Sir, you’re already intoxicated. I can’t serve you.” The drunk grumbles and walks out the front door. A few minutes later, he comes in the side door yelling “Bartender, gimme a […]
After her husband has gone back to refill his drink for the fifth time at a host’s party, the wife looks at him and says, “Aren’t you embarrassed to keep going back for more?” Husband says, “Nope. I Keep telling them it’s for you!”
A couple went for a cruise tour to enjoy their private honeymoon while leaving their children at home Unfortunately, the cruise ship was sinking due to catastrophic weather condition. The couple finally made their way to the lifeboat area but there was only space for one person left The man […]
A group of students were discussing which of their specialities was of the most practical use. A fellow student appeared at the table with a large pink gin. The chemist proceeded to explain why it was pink in color. The physicist measured the specific gravity. The mathematician calculated the cost […]
A chemistry professor wanted to teach the 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. “Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the […]
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After […]
A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady, was looking very nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves. “Do you know how they make these gloves?” he asked. “No, I don’t” she replied. Well,” he spoofed, “there’s a building […]
