A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch.They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her […]
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house.Exhausted from the afternoon’s activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman […]
A stoner rubs a bong and a genie comes out, offering three wishes. The stoner says, “ok for my first wish, I want a six inch joint.” And poof! A joint appears and the stoner and genie sit down and smoke it together. “For my second wish, I want a […]
“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up”, said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. “Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?”, inquired the teacher with a sneer. “Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, […]
A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swings him around in a circle. The bartender says, “Hey buddy, what are you doing?” And the blind man says, “Don’t mind me, I’m just looking around.”
A man walks into a bar. As he sits down, he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender, “What’s with the meat?” The bartender says, “If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks […]
A guy walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots of the establishment’s finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets him up, and the guy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. He then takes the last shot in the row and does […]
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman ordered pints of ale at the local pub. As fate would have it, each of their drinks had a fly swimming in it. The Englishman called the tavernkeeper over and said, “There’s a fly in my ale! Throw this out and me another.” […]
A drunk walks in the front door of a bar and yells “Bartender, gimme a drink!” The bartender says “Sir, you’re already intoxicated. I can’t serve you.” The drunk grumbles and walks out the front door. A few minutes later, he comes in the side door yelling “Bartender, gimme a […]
After her husband has gone back to refill his drink for the fifth time at a host’s party, the wife looks at him and says, “Aren’t you embarrassed to keep going back for more?” Husband says, “Nope. I Keep telling them it’s for you!”
